I’ve written about suicide before, for sadly it occurs often. But how do you handle it when it hits home…Again?
My suicidal encounters were with someone very close to me. The first was in 2011. The individual actually hung themselves while I was in another room. I just returned home from major surgery & they were speaking with a family member. They wanted to argue but I hadn’t the energy. I went to sleep while they continued their phone conversation.
I suddenly heard a voice. It was my Mother that passed in 2008. Urging me to get up immediately! I jumped up & noticed it was very quiet. My dog was chained up but she looked terrified. She was freakishly silent though. I kept walking a few feet to the back of the apartment and there between boxes, was the individual. Folded like an accordion & gasping for air. My blood literally felt like it turned to ice.
It was a painful effort to move the individual but I did & revived them. They begged me not to call the police & I was so horror stricken, that I agreed. They’re still alive to this day, but I regretted not reporting it. Why? This person still has emotional issues & doesn’t deal with things well. I pray they never try it again. But I also vowed to never do that again. If anyone I know or come across is suicidal or having suicidal ideations? I’M CALLING 911, PERIOD!
So, yesterday I received an email from someone dear & close to my heart. They told me goodbye, a myriad of other things, and bought me an expensive gift. Now mind you, I was calling, texting & emailing the individual for a day & a half, without response. I even sent a close friend of theirs to check on them the day prior. I was told they were sleeping & sad. My radar was going haywire. They still didn’t call me. We’re in two different states & far away from one another. So the email floored me, yesterday morning. I didn’t have their address, so I started texting & calling friends of theirs. When I got the info needed, I called 911 and stayed on the phone back & forth for over 8 hours.
I cried so hard I thought I’d lose my breath. I lie. I bawled like a wounded animal, stuck in a trap. I called the person, texted, sent emails & voice-mails but they wouldn’t respond no matter what I said. Their close friend called, no response. Loved ones tried…NOTHING worked. I mean absolutely nothing. They simply wouldn’t respond. I had people in different states praying & begging The Most High to keep the person safe and sending positive vibes. I had started praying & sending positive vibes the minute I read the email. As the clock ticked I felt sicker & sicker. I hadn’t eaten all day. I couldn’t for I lost my appetite. Every few minutes, I’d burst into tears. I called the police so often they knew who I was.
When they finally located the individual, took him in calmly & safely to a mental hospital, I was in shock. I thanked the officers then started crying all over again. I’m hoping they get the help that they need. It hurt that I couldn’t help them otherwise or before it got to this point.
Now, a part of me knew that the person will probably be really pissed at me for calling 911. They may not speak to me again. We hadn’t been in contact for years & just reconnected a few weeks ago. They may even hate me. It’s a chance I had to take. Because, I’d rather they’re mad at me and alive, than love me & their dead. When you love someone? It’s not about you. You do the right things for your loved ones even if it hurts you. That’s a part of how love works. You make sacrifices for the good or betterment of the other individual, minus your personal feelings or fears. You don’t give up.
During this COVID-19, being in lock-down can produce various outcomes. Many are getting closer, some are making babies but on the flipside to that, suicide & domestic violence rates are rising. People are getting antsy & agitated. Some are all alone & struggling. As well as, many are fighting with their loved ones. Many use work and everything else to avoid underlying issues. When those issues aren’t dealt with, left to fester & boil, it becomes “Hell on earth.”
We have to be more compassionate, overstanding & loving to ourselves & to one another. We need each other in this crazy thing called life. We’ll all do better if we love one another & think about others. Reach out to people because so many of us are suffering & doing so in silence.
We can’t visit, but call, text, send an email, heck postal mail still works. Think when we’re interacting with one another how we’re treating ourselves & others. So many, even some reading this right now, need help. Someone to talk to. Someone to listen. Someone, anyone to really give a damn. As human beings, we can ALL do better.
“We’re All In This Thing Called Life, TOGETHER…Remember?”
“Namastè & One Love”❤💛💚
🌹✍🏾What Are Some Warning Signs of Suicide?✍🏾🌹
Warning signs of suicide
Health officials recommend that everyone familiarize themselves with the warning signs of suicide, which may include:
A person thinking about or threatening suicide or seeking a way to kill themself
Increased substance abuse
Feelings of purposelessness, anxiety, being trapped, or hopeless
Social isolation and withdrawing from people and activities
Expressing unusual anger, recklessness, or mood changes
Risk factors of suicide
A history of mental health issues including depression, bipolar disorder and anxiety disorders
Stressful life events
Family history of suicide
Childhood abuse or trauma
For immediate help if you are in a crisis, call the toll-free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), which is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. All calls are confidential.