About ~ Who Is “Maxwanette A Poetess?”

 

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~Maxwanette A Poetess {aka: Max A Poetess / M.A.M.}

“I’ve had more than enough negativity in my life. It’s time to try on some positivity, lol!”

 

“Who Is ~ Maxwanette A. Poetess {aka: M.A.M./Max A. Poetess}?”

Born in Brooklyn, NY to Jamaican-Born & Migrated parents, Maxwanette was reading at a High School level, by the age of 3 and started writing Poetry, at the age of 5. Her first piece was a Haiku written while in Kindergarten (Public School 316~Elijah J. Stroud Elementary, Brooklyn, NY). She was so tickled by this form of Poetry, that she wrote many Haikus daily, driving her teachers and Mother crazy, lol! Maxwanette is more of a “Free-Style” Poet. She follows no particular form and or style. She writes as she feels.

 

 

Maxwanette, like many, came from a very abusive life. “I can recall when I was 5 years old, I wanted to die. So, I’d pray to God to take me away from all the pain & the suffering. I can recall crying for the suffering of others…I’ve always been sort of Hypersensitive. I recall my father beating my Mother on a regular basis – Until one day she had enough and fought back. Oh, I have memories as far back as the age of 2.”

 

Having come from Childhood Abuse; Incest, Rape, Psychological/Emotional/Physical Abuse, Domestic Violence, Homelessness (at the age of 11 in NYC & periodically in her adulthood) Family Mental Illness, dealing with her own Mental issues, “One day, I had to confront, that there was no way I could come out of that house unscathed. I had to deal with my demons. Lol, what a fucked-up party that shit was, lol!” Diagnosed as Bi-Polar, w/Borderline Personality Disorder & Depression. “Oh, they never knew about my OCD days, lol!” “When I was in my early 20’s – I had 3 young children and just left an abusive marriage (I was 16; homeless and my mother was institutionalized as a Paranoid Schizophrenic…he was 35). I peed the bed the first night I slept with this man that became my husband & fathered 2 of my children. We would go grocery shopping I can remember hating it. It would take me 8 hours. I had to fix everything, on every shelf, in every aisle, in every damn store! Smh. My poor children simply had fun in the grocery store. They were too young to know any different. Packing them away? Took hours!” “I knew that I would freak out if the house was a mess or even one tiny piece of paper, so small you needed a microscope to find it, would send me into a violent tailspin of preaching to my children, how dirty they kept the house…They were terrified of me. When I left him? I was on Prozac and living in the Projects (for the first time in my life). Life wasn’t easy to say the least.” My children always saw me as the strong one, the “Warrior Mom.” How dark their existence came, when I short-circuited and blew. They didn’t even know that I was sick…Many never knew.” …

 

“Mental Illness sufferers suffer in many ways. We hurt ourselves at times and those we love or are around us. Sometimes, not even sure why. At times we feel, damn, don’t they get it? When our way of thinking is often on a whole other level (not necessarily crazy ~ the mind of many mentally ill people is and if not beyond genius at times. Not all but many). Or simply too overwhelmed with thoughts, feelings, emotions, pain, and stress ~ you withdraw or shut people out, just to enjoy the silence or to stop having those you love hurt and or seeing your pain. Trust me, it’s an inner hell that sucks BIG-TIME!”

 

“Oh, I did the big drugs to help – the pharmaceutical merry-go-round was a living nightmare! Drugs do not work for me, I have a very high tolerance level & hate the side effects. Oh, they work for many, just not in my case and I tried some strong stuff like Lithium – They make you into a drug-head forever if you aren’t careful – this was my gateway to other things. I had to face that as well. I never liked nor cared for therapy. I don’t like sharing my feelings, “Duh-huh” lol! None of these things worked for me. Not to mention, who wants to go in and say, “Hi, yes, I’m crazy, how are you?” Lol! Not too many. I also didn’t like the Zombie I became. As well as the label that you get. Being Bi-Polar is like having a Scarlett Letter on your forehead. People judge and who wants to retell their life story all of the time? Who wants to be treated differently? Pain can be a very stifling thing…So many remain silent…I did.

 

But I had to find a cure! I had to face that I felt like I never had control of my life. Having been so abused and not being able to stop or prevent it at such a young age, coming from a culture that believed and encouraged abuse & being silent about it, learning how to abuse myself along the way, sent my thoughts, expectations, views and feelings towards life and those in it into a realm of existence that few know about. I was fucked-up & I knew it. Sure, I was an overall nice person, but I had a volcanic tornado within my being and it was taking over. I knew how to mask it, but it caught up with me one day, in my early 30s. I broke and had nowhere to fall. I lost my children, my job, my man, my dignity & respect (sounds like a sad country song, right? Lol!) So, what did I do for most of my life? I remained in the dark. Silent & Angry. Leaving little reminders to my inner self that LOVE exists.” …

 

On top of her suffering, Maxwanette was born with bone & muscular-skeletal issues, and Sickle Cell (she received 1 bad trait from each parent, so she has bouts that mimic the disease – stress, trauma, etc.…Are lethal to her body…IMAGINE that). She’s had over 9 surgeries as well. Maxwanette says, “Look, I was born in pain & lived a pretty painful life. But I don’t want pity, lol! Who has time for that? I went through what I went through. We all have a story. I had my moments, when living was painful, existing seemed useless, life was hopeless, and there was no love to be found. Did it take its toll? Lol, of course, it did, some things you simply cannot undo or fix ~ You take a loss. I have had many losses in this life, but my stubborn ass is still here, lol! I’ve also experienced such love and beauty that words cease to describe it. So, life goes on. But I also have found what I always wanted and need. I simply had to look within myself, no matter where I came from or what I’ve gone through. I held onto the anger and the pain for so long, that it made me a toxic energy. Heck, I consistently work at detoxing, lol! But, I’ve learned how to love myself, no matter what. I’ve learned how to deal with the balance of my life. I pay attention to what I feel within my being. The outside? Lol, that’s just background noise! Life is about Love & Change. I’m forever learning, changing, reinventing myself with each new day. Just like how we shed our skin daily.”

 

“My experiences in life, have also taught me to see love in places, people and things that otherwise one may overlook. I had to find myself, my foundation within the storm…”

 

“The beauty of a sunrise, the setting of the moon, babbling of brooks, children laughing ~ never too soon. The essence of a flower, which powers the very existence of life. The warmth of a smile, the touch of a hug, ensuring that things are alright. A simple Hello or Good-Morning…Just because. Life is so full of this thing called LOVE.” See, like that, lol! I can write about everything and anything. I simply write what I feel.” …

 

Maxwanette supports many causes, that affect her life, especially those from abuse. She says that she will not stand idly by and watch someone one or anyone be abused (animals included). It simply doesn’t sit well with who she is. Her poetry tends to reflect these things as well. Maxwanette is also a nature lover, which she stated her mother never understood since she was born in Brooklyn, NY. The Poetess laughed and said, “I used to tell her it’s in my blood, lol! I blame that on my Jamaican, African & Humane Roots.” She stated that she has a wild, Gypsy-like streak in her that eggs her on to travel and to try new things. She figures why not? Lol!

So, Maxwanette, what is the real purpose of your page, social media outlets, etc., What makes you any different from the rest of them?

“I don’t really pay attention to differences and all that. I really have no expectations. I’m not expecting anything at all. I love, love, energy, life, existing, simply being. In sharing of my poems, they have indeed become the language in which my Soul speaks. It is in prose, that my thoughts, feelings, and pineal view are most expressive. Some people write journals, I write Poetry, lol! It’s also been very therapeutic for me. It is on pen and paper, that I am the freest. If I can help soothe the Soul of even 1 person, letting them know that life matters, they matter, we matter and they’re not alone, and we’re in this thing called life together… I know what you’re going through because I’m living too, we need to remember to “Share the Love”, because it’s a real thing that is forever needed, the best cushion in life, then I’ve fulfilled my purpose in this existence.

Even if that 1 Soul is my own.”3

 

There are 2 Volumes of Poetry,

written by this extraordinary, poetic wordsmith;

“Poetry, Language Of the Soul”, Volume I.

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&

“The Poetic Storm”, Volume II. (currently in the making)

Maxwanette’s Poetry may cause a reaction and or response. Either or, the fact that it causes one to think and or feel? Is more than enough, says the Poetess. Many of her pieces are reflective of her own “personal” experiences and that of others. The Poetess stated, “It is those experiences within this Universe, that are expressed in my poetry.” The Artist uses some of her own pictures (of self and her surroundings) because it gives a more personal view to her words.

If her Poetry strikes a chord? Then she kindly suggests that you,

“Speak to your Soul…And Listen.”

“Namaste & One Love”💖💛💚

45by Androo’s Art

 

Publications

  • “The Little Things,” Our Times Newspaper, pg. 11, March 2015
  • Alone Again” pg.60, “One Step Over Please” pg. 119, “As I Rise to Face the New Day” pg. 127, “Freedom” pg.134, “Cleaning-Up” pg. 160, Soul Vomit, Domestic Violence Aftermath, 2014
  • “Where Have All the People Gone?” The National Library of Poetry, March 1987-1997
  • “Where Have All the People Gone?” World of Poetry, April 1990
  • “War…Why?” World of Poetry, November 1987

 

Work History

  • Freelance Writer – Poetry Corner, Our Times Newspaper, March 2015
  • Freelance Writer – World of Poetry, 1990, 1988, and 1987
  • Freelance Writer – The National Library of Poetry, 1997

 

Writing Awards

  • In Appreciation Certificate, World of Poetry, 1990
  • Award of Merit Certificate, World of Poetry, 1990
  • Golden Poet Award, World of Poetry, 1988
  • Award of Merit Certificate, World of Poetry 1987
  • Certificate of Award in English, Junior High School 117, 1985
  • Outstanding Achievement in English (Writing), New York City Association of English, 1984
  • 1st Place Certificate of Award for Creative Writing Poetry Contest, Patrolman Elijah G. Stroud School (Public School 316), 1982
  • Certificate of Award for Writing, Patrolman Elijah G. Stroud School (Public School 316), 1980

 

Audio –

“UNDEFEATABLE!”  https://clyp.it/na5415zw

             

“Luvin Di Bob”  https://clyp.it/vyt5huwk

             

“NIGGER!”  https://clyp.it/b0izfwlh

             

 

Video –

“UNDEFEATABLE!”

 

 

 

 

Maxwanette A Poetess

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