✨🌹Spirituality Isn’t One-Sided.🌹✨

Yesterday I let go of a “Friend.” She did something so blatantly erroneous, that it angered me. I literally felt like “beating dat azz!” I kid you not, I even shared a post about it on my personal page. That being said, anger is normal. Being spiritual doesn’t mean you don’t get angry or feel emotions.

I felt the anger, spoke to her before she could continue, told her I wasn’t with her method of thinking or viewing things, but she still decided to continue with the negativity. So I became enraged & let her have it. I also decided it’s best to leave her out of my life.

This wasn’t the first time she’s “irked my nerves”, but surely would be the last. My anger was bigger than I would’ve liked & some of it was towards myself. Why? Because I knew better than to let her back into my circle but did it anyway. She simply performed as usual, so who’s fault is that? Mine.

Sometimes we let people go or our negativity & pick it right back up again for whatever reasons. I should’ve left it where it was, lesson learned before things could get any worse.

I had to meditate, forgive her & myself but leaving her alone. There are a few more negative energies around that will be suffering the same fate. I don’t wait for “New Years” to do it either. It’s a lifetime process, because as we all know, negativity can be found every & anywhere.

So it’s okay to slip & your emotions catch you at times. Work through it, deal with it, dismantle it, forgive, leave the negativity where it’s at and move on. Learn, Grow, & Keep Shining✨✨✨

“Namastè & One Love”❤️💛💚

~Maxwanette A Poetess

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✨✍🏾Born Into A Life Of Misery✨✍🏾 By, Maxwanette A Poetess

 I Write & Share as much Love & Positivity as I can.

Why?

Because I came from such an abusive, damaging, miserable & negative place.

This flowed over onto my children, family, friends and was such a focal point of my existence at that time.

I was being beaten from within & was clueless as to how to break the cycle.

 

I can remember when this poem was written.

 

Life was difficult trying to raise 3 children as a single mother – with my sisters’ help, with only my GED & my HHA/PCA Certificates.

 

My oldest sister, the laugh & smiles of my children kept me going. But the pressures of life were mounting. See, I was considered “The Strong One”, “The Fighter” …So I had to keep going, even as I was falling apart. This poem was my outlet at that moment. You know what I mean? When the demons of your past, attack you at a weak moment.

 

Yeah, lol! They were kicking my ass, lol! I can laugh now but during that time? I was a tortured Soul & no one knew. I was too strong to cry, complain, speak about, or relate to the pain. I had simply turned it off like it never happened. But it started to seep out and overflow and the family? Lol, well my Dears, it fell apart.

~Maxwanette A Poetess

 

bornintoalifeofmisery

 Born Into A Life of Misery

Born into a life of misery,

Never to reach my full capacity.

 

Used and abused when necessary,

Did anyone ever care how it would affect me?

 

Thrust into a world all alone,

Deluded by the body of a child that’s grown.

 

Wasn’t taught what the world was made of,

Confused pain and hurt with love.

 

My body has been stretched, mauled, molested, screwed, beaten

I’ve always been treated as the earth’s most loathsome cretin.

 

Never belonged, always wanting to fit in, wanting to be wanted

Just mistreated, lied to, cheated on and taunted.

 

I try to climb out of the cesspool of my life, to wade in waters clear and free,

As I’m being pushed back down, I realize that clear waters aren’t for me.

 

See, I was born into a life of misery,

Never to reach my full capacity.

 

As that dark cloud looms over me, threatening to swallow me whole,

I know that if I don’t fight it, it won’t leave me alone.

 

But I’ve been fighting for so long, it’s never done,

This is a battle that will never be won.

 

My mind, my brain is under attack,

Shit! I can’t rewind this life, change and get something back!

 

What is it like to be a child?

What is it like to run wild?

To be overstood, loved & free? I am an adult, no time for me.

 

See the answers I’ll never know,

because a long time ago,

damaged seeds were reaping what they sewed.

 

I hate my life and all that’s in it!  Besides my sister and my kids,

I don’t see the purpose of it.

 

Why am I here!!? What is the use?  I tired of all this abuse!

I ‘m exhausted, and my stance is weak, like that of an old lady

Just as if I was a newborn baby…

 

I was born,

 into a life of misery.

Never to reach my full capacity.

©10/7/2000 Maxwanette A Poetess

 

 

“The Poetic Storm” Vol. 2

✨🧠I Know You’re There🧠✨

(Picture~The Shadow Master of Darkness)

“I Know You’re There”…

By, Maxwanette A Poetess

It sneaks up on me, like a silent predator,

Hungrily eyeing its prey.

I can’t see it, but I know it’s there.

I feel it looming in the shadows,

Lurking in the corners and doorways.

Jeering & taunting, pretending friendship,

Begging for me to let it in.

Giving me flashbacks of my life,

And how empty it’s been.

Reminding me of my past failures,

Belittling my accomplishments.

Toying with my mind, my emotions….

Unraveling me and tossing me away,

Like yesterday’s trash.

It’s a tug-of-war of wits & emotions,

Who’s keeping count of the odds?

I feel like I’m drowning, and no one cares,

It’s like falling and no one is there to catch me.

I know you’re there, dammit, leave me alone!!

*Inspired by the demon Mental Illness can be.

✨🌹✨🌹✨🌹✨🌹✨🌹✨🌹✨🌹

🧠Please note: “MENTAL ILLNESS IS REAL”🧠

I’m not a physician nor do I give medical advice. But I advise, that if you’re suffering from a Mental Illness, you need help. Something happened that caused you to be this way. It’s okay to own that & get help to deal with the demons within self that you’re fighting. Sometimes it’s not easy & can cause more damage. It’s alright to get help.

There are so many ways & methods that one can try. The point is to see that there’s a problem, face it, get help without feeling ashamed in doing so – did you know even therapist have therapists? Just saying. We all need help at one time or another when life can become too stressful and or when trying to deal with life’s traumas.

👣👣👣🚶🏾‍♀️🚶‍♂️🚶🏻‍♀️🚶🏿‍♂️🚶🏼‍♀️🚶🏿‍♀️👣👣

Find what works for you & stick with it. Mental Illness can become an internal prison. It changes how one sees, feels & thinks about life. Trauma & Stress can turn the mind into an internal weapon. It can become a personal maze of pain & hell.

Its sad that with how many people suffer with Mental Illness, that more isn’t done & the stigma attached removed. It’s okay. Many people are suffering & pretend or deny it. Heck! Some are oblivious to it. You’re not the minority. Check out this link below. MANY PEOPLE ARE SUFFERING

https://www.nami.org/learn-more/mental-health-by-the-numbers

I can say from personal experiences, if you sit on it & do nothing? You’re shortening your life span and cutting a poor path for your existence and all you encounter.

Get help, talk to somebody, seek ways to heal yourself. Because no one can do it for you. Most of all? Try to remember that you deserve to have a happy, free and beautiful life too.

“Namastè & One Love”❤️💛💚

✨🌹RESOURCES🌹✨

*See what’s available locally. Sometimes there’s services you’re unaware of:

https://www.nami.org

“We’re All In This Thing Called Life, TOGETHER…Remember?”❤️💛💚

😳The Darkness/Negativity😳

😳“The Darkness/Negativity”😳

How do we deal with the “Darkness, Negativity & Pain? Personally? What works for me, may not work for another. I like to face the negativity, challenges, obstacles and or troubles in life, head-on. Do what works best for you. This isn’t a competition. It’s your life.

Some may feel that my posts are only about positivity. Well, it has been & still is, lol! Sometimes we need a good dose of positivity in order to deal with the negativity😉, cause that crap can hurt like heck!

That being said, the negativity is something that MUST be dealt with. Why do you think I’m so positive? Because I dealt with an abundance of negativity. I didn’t just wake-up shooting sunshine & love quotes out of my butt! Lol! “Baby? I been through some thangs, lol!”😎 Heck? Who hasn’t?

That proverbial “Darkness”, that many fear is as strong as we make it. Corny & as cliche as it sounds, we are the key to unlocking our own miseries.

I started writing poetry, because it was something I liked doing. However, it became a passionate necessity. Writing poetry was my way of dealing & venting how I felt. It’s where I took the negativity & dismantled it. When I write? I go into what I call a deep “Poetic Meditation.” Rarely do I write one poem at a time. It’s usually 3-7 at once.

Being a private person & a loner, my poetry became like a best friend. It’s how I dealt with life, good, bad & or the ugly. There were times when the pressures of life & poor treatment stifled my being. Poetry, was my freedom (still is). It was how I gave the scared, battered & abused child in me…Her voice.

Someone I came across in life gave me some phenomenal advice, “Find a way to re-channel your negative energy into something positive & beneficial. Don’t waste your fire Max.” I try to remember that.

Well tonight, I’m branching out here in P.L.O.T.S. I’m going down a road, where negativity dances. Why? Because there are many in this journey called life who need to know that they’re not alone in the madness. It’s okay to be scared, it’s normal to feel pain & yes change can hurt. However, it’s a personal journey we all take now & again. Many hate it, because deep down, we all know we have to eventually deal with the issues ourselves. No one else can fix it but us.

So please feel free to share any “dark” or “negative” poetry. I ask that you give a brief synopsis or explanation of your poetry, so that one may overstand where you were during that time. I’m sure someone can relate & offer feedback, support, Love, heck…A lifeline for someone else. I ask that you don’t get too morbid. We all need to be able to sleep & move positively afterwards😊.

Often, letting go isn’t easy, however it’s necessary. Dealing with the realities of life, may cause pain in the beginning. But it’s surely worth it. Pain & negativity have fueled many poems. One of my favorite quotes is, “Feel, deal, heal & keep it moving forwards.”

“We’re All In This Thing Called Life, TOGETHER…Remember?

“Namastè & One Love”❤️💛💚

By, Maxwanette A Poetess