✨✍🏾Born Into A Life Of Misery✨✍🏾 By, Maxwanette A Poetess

 I Write & Share as much Love & Positivity as I can.

Why?

Because I came from such an abusive, damaging, miserable & negative place.

This flowed over onto my children, family, friends and was such a focal point of my existence at that time.

I was being beaten from within & was clueless as to how to break the cycle.

 

I can remember when this poem was written.

 

Life was difficult trying to raise 3 children as a single mother – with my sisters’ help, with only my GED & my HHA/PCA Certificates.

 

My oldest sister, the laugh & smiles of my children kept me going. But the pressures of life were mounting. See, I was considered “The Strong One”, “The Fighter” …So I had to keep going, even as I was falling apart. This poem was my outlet at that moment. You know what I mean? When the demons of your past, attack you at a weak moment.

 

Yeah, lol! They were kicking my ass, lol! I can laugh now but during that time? I was a tortured Soul & no one knew. I was too strong to cry, complain, speak about, or relate to the pain. I had simply turned it off like it never happened. But it started to seep out and overflow and the family? Lol, well my Dears, it fell apart.

~Maxwanette A Poetess

 

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 Born Into A Life of Misery

Born into a life of misery,

Never to reach my full capacity.

 

Used and abused when necessary,

Did anyone ever care how it would affect me?

 

Thrust into a world all alone,

Deluded by the body of a child that’s grown.

 

Wasn’t taught what the world was made of,

Confused pain and hurt with love.

 

My body has been stretched, mauled, molested, screwed, beaten

I’ve always been treated as the earth’s most loathsome cretin.

 

Never belonged, always wanting to fit in, wanting to be wanted

Just mistreated, lied to, cheated on and taunted.

 

I try to climb out of the cesspool of my life, to wade in waters clear and free,

As I’m being pushed back down, I realize that clear waters aren’t for me.

 

See, I was born into a life of misery,

Never to reach my full capacity.

 

As that dark cloud looms over me, threatening to swallow me whole,

I know that if I don’t fight it, it won’t leave me alone.

 

But I’ve been fighting for so long, it’s never done,

This is a battle that will never be won.

 

My mind, my brain is under attack,

Shit! I can’t rewind this life, change and get something back!

 

What is it like to be a child?

What is it like to run wild?

To be overstood, loved & free? I am an adult, no time for me.

 

See the answers I’ll never know,

because a long time ago,

damaged seeds were reaping what they sewed.

 

I hate my life and all that’s in it!  Besides my sister and my kids,

I don’t see the purpose of it.

 

Why am I here!!? What is the use?  I tired of all this abuse!

I ‘m exhausted, and my stance is weak, like that of an old lady

Just as if I was a newborn baby…

 

I was born,

 into a life of misery.

Never to reach my full capacity.

©10/7/2000 Maxwanette A Poetess

 

 

“The Poetic Storm” Vol. 2

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🕶🔥Domestic Violence Is Real – But Then Again? So Am I🔥🕶

Greetings,

Blessings, Love, Overstanding, Positivity, Joy & Continued Happiness…Are a few words I choose to describe My Life NOW. 🥰Although, a few months prior? My life was in danger…

Some of you may recall that my sister & I were in a serious DV (Domestic Violence) situation. We’ve relocated & we’re doing well.

Due to safety reasons, we’re not at liberty to disclose our location. But know that we’re safe, happy & appreciate all the sentiments, words of encouragement & positive vibes sent🥰🥰🥰

Many do not know that I had surgery last year. I almost didn’t make it, lol! I also had what some call an, “ Outer-Body” experience. It wasn’t my first. I was born sickly, lol! Many, even within my own family were unaware. My Mother kept it quiet, not even telling my father, for her own justifiable reasons. But pain & “nearly not making it”, occurred often in my life. My Mom & I used to joke about pain & death, even up until the day she transcended. It’s easier to simply laugh about it.😉

As I have ALWAYS loved traveling, the road never ends for me. You know, “I’ve been a few places, seen a few places”, but I’m more like a “Nomadic Gypsy” (this became a title to a poem of mine☺️). I’m taking it easy for awhile. It’s my moment to relax, heal, rest, regroup, refocus, recenter & simply feel the vibrational flow of life & existence. But my traveling hasn’t ceased for good. I can smell a trip coming up😂

Born & bred in Brooklyn, NY to Jamaican parents…I don’t regret what & whom I have left behind. Why? Because, “Good, bad, and or the ugly?” I value the memory of those that I hold dear, but life goes on 😎

I decided one day to look at the pain, abuse, mistakes, the negativity…Laugh at those miserable bitches & accept the love & happiness I was hiding from the world & myself.

At one time or another, we all go through a negative experience. I found that by knowing myself and who I am, empowers me to make it through even what is deemed impossible. However, I NEVER STAND ALONE. The power of the Most High Creator, coupled by leaning on the backs of our Ancestors, Family, Friends, and being in command of my energies…I LIVE!

And oh, what a life & oh what a view! 😉☺️😊

✨🌹We’re All In This Thing Called Life, TOGETHER…Remember?🌹✨

“Namastè & One Love”❤️💛💚

By, Maxwanette A Poetess

✍🏾My Natalie✍🏾 by Maxwanette A Poetess

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“My Natalie”

It’s been so long since I’ve seen you,

Hugged you & shared special moments.

From childhood, adulthood, womanhood, & life.

We share a bond, ever so strong, that even 11 years

Of distance could not break.

We have always shined on the opposite sides of the coin.

Yet still, together we are whole.

A light in my life, a Godly blessing, preserved through time.

Selfishly I claim, created just for me…

I simply love, “My Natalie.”

*Cousins are gems!