🌹✍🏾”How Was Your Weekend?”✍🏾🌹

🌹✍🏾”How Was Your Weekend?”✍🏾🌹

“I had the pleasure of welcoming a Great-Nephew over the weekend – one of my Nephew’s 1st child & Son, talking with my Stepmother, chatted with my baby Sister, I talk with my oldest Sister EVERYDAY- poor ting 😅, tried to play Fort Night with another Nephew – Okay I lied. I gave it zero effort. I don’t like video games🤷🏾‍♀️. But I had fun watching my Nephews enthusiasm (he’s 12), I had to speak with my Bestie whose more like a Sister to me, avoided unnecessary negativity – seemed to be coming from the oddest directions, but I refused to feed into it’s directional existence, lol! So it was disbanded & demolished, I spoke to quite a bit of Family this weekend, even online. This past weekend was indeed lovingly AWESOME.” 🥰 ~Maxwanette A Poetess

PositiveVibesMovesMountains ❤💛💚

🌹✍🏾”Don’t Let What’s On The Outside, Control Your Inner Peace.”✍🏾🌹

🌹✍🏾This post resonated with me DEEPLY. I had a horrific experience this past week that hit me so hard, I didn’t know how to respond. It wasn’t a shocker, just a harsh reality & confirmation. It numbed me to the point that I couldn’t even shed a tear. All I could do was feel, think, review, process, and BREATHE.

What surprised me even more, was that I haven’t gotten angry. Disgusted? Yes, but anger hasn’t entered my being. For that I am glad. Instead, I feel sad for the individual that tried their best to destroy my essence of self, for they’re stuck in a deep well of self-hatred, loneliness & misery.

As for me? I’m continuing on my journey, loving myself and others even more and embracing the beauty of my existence. Life Is Beautiful & I’m loving every second of it!✍🏾🌹~Maxwanette A Poetess

“Namastè & One Love”❤💛💚

🌹✍🏾When A Post Touches You So Much, You Have To Share✍🏾🌹

I felt this post deeply & had to share – Because we all have a story…

I can fully relate to this post. My own relationship with my children suffered to this day. They always saw me as strong. So when I fell (nervous breakdown), they were lost. They’ve resented and hated me for it ever since. They never knew the internal hell from years of abuse & suffering that I was battling. I learned to love them from afar. It was and is difficult at times, but I also know that I can’t fix everything. I did the best I could, with who I was at the time.

I’m glad that today I’m a much better and healthier minded individual, who finally learned how to love herself and help others do the same. It’s from my own pains & sufferings that enable me to overstand the heart & minds of others. It’s one of the main purposes for my social media pages & blog. Reminding myself & others to love themselves through the madness. Give yourself a hug, because you deserve it.

“We’re All In This Thing Called Life,TOGETHER…Remember?

“Namaste & One Love”❤️💛💚

~Maxwanette A Poetess

✨🌹Powerful Video🌹✨

💔Many are broken💔

We need to remember that we all go through things in life. I’m not a religious individual. However, if LOVE were a religion? Then I’m a LOVER. The broken? They’re ME, YOU, US, THEM…WE. We cannot keep throwing people away. They need help as much as anyone else & sometimes even more so.

 

I grew up in Brooklyn, NY. Born sickly, was severely abused by almost everyone I came across in my childhood, teenage years & adulthood; from the cradle to the classroom, literally. I was always angry and in pain, physically & emotionally. I was dubbed by a close family member with the name, “Mad-Max.” I was hurting, angry, lost, became detached from life in many ways & at an early age, I became a mother (I was 16 & he was 34 – happens when you’re homeless & your parents didn’t break the cycle either)and suffered greatly. I loved my children but only partially. I didn’t know how to love them past being a provider & disciplining then. People gave up on me & it took a large majority of my life, trying to figure things out. My life was my own personal hell, filled with walls & no way out. But somewhere deep within was the real ME. The ME that was connected to a Soul so deep, that poetry was the only hidden voice that I had. I wrote poems at times, simply to hold onto my sanity & humanity.

 

See, when I was growing up, kids like me? They usually didn’t last long. They were killed, stuck in abusive situations, became criminals, became abusers, committed suicide, went stark raving mad (oh I lost it a few times), were bitter or simply fucked-up, one way or another. I was in my own personal hell for what seemed like a never-ending nightmare. There wasn’t anyone that loved me. I also was clueless as to how to love myself. People were afraid of me & I became afraid of myself as I sunk deeper & deeper into my own dark chaos. I was labeled a monster by my abusers, strangers, family & so called friends. There were times when being a monster was the only respect & fear that was attached to me. I was fortunate to not be a criminal. Reading at a High School level by the time I was 3, was my only outlet. I immersed myself in reading EVERYTHING.

 

I made many mistakes but I learned. I wasn’t able to be there for my children in the way I wished I could’ve been. But once I figured it out? It’s been part of my life’s purpose to help others & especially those that life/humanity has forgotten, the labeled “Underdogs”, “Monsters”, “The Less Than”, poor and underprivileged, anyone who’s suffering & need a “port in the storm.” I can’t save & help everyone, but I do what I am able. I’ve also learned how to not waste my energies. Once I am satisfied that I’ve done all that I can, I’ve learned to keep it moving. Because you can drown in a flood while trying to rescue people. I’ve drowned a few times, lol! I just refuse to give up😌. It does take a toll, but I never regret helping others. It’s one of the things that make me happy.🥰

 

People wonder how I can be so loving, share positivity & love…Lol, trust me, it’s better to exist in this space than the one that I was in before. Every chance that I get to show someone Love, is a beautiful thing. Anytime someone remembers how to love themselves & share that? Absolutely PRICELESS. That’s how we change things.

 

But we have to see that we all live here. Why not make or contribute in making life a better thing to experience? A kind word, helping someone, asking someone if they’re okay, checking on your neighbors, smiling at people, heck! Don’t forget to smile at yourself, feed or clothe those in need, stop being able to send a text to a stranger but if you see abuse & suffering right under your nose you walk by, give that homeless person a blanket, food & make inquiries as to why they’re out in the cold, ask a child or adult if they’ve eaten, don’t try to change anyone try to help, STOP MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS, because if we all cared a bit more, what a world this would be. Yes, people trying to help get hurt and have even lost their lives. The irony? Those who fear this, would be awed that if those who helped had to do it all again? They would. Think about that.

 

This video touched my heart because often no one ever gives a shit about the abuser or the criminal. Although this is overstood, they weren’t born destroying lives & themselves. Something happened, whether we know it or not. It takes a different type of human being to do what they do at “Homeboy Industries.”

 

One person matters, because one by one, like drops of water forming the oceans, we’re uniquely created & even stronger together.

 

“We’re All In This Thing Called Life, TOGETHER…Remember?”❤️💛💚

By, Maxwanette A Poetess

✨✍🏾Born Into A Life Of Misery✨✍🏾 By, Maxwanette A Poetess

 I Write & Share as much Love & Positivity as I can.

Why?

Because I came from such an abusive, damaging, miserable & negative place.

This flowed over onto my children, family, friends and was such a focal point of my existence at that time.

I was being beaten from within & was clueless as to how to break the cycle.

 

I can remember when this poem was written.

 

Life was difficult trying to raise 3 children as a single mother – with my sisters’ help, with only my GED & my HHA/PCA Certificates.

 

My oldest sister, the laugh & smiles of my children kept me going. But the pressures of life were mounting. See, I was considered “The Strong One”, “The Fighter” …So I had to keep going, even as I was falling apart. This poem was my outlet at that moment. You know what I mean? When the demons of your past, attack you at a weak moment.

 

Yeah, lol! They were kicking my ass, lol! I can laugh now but during that time? I was a tortured Soul & no one knew. I was too strong to cry, complain, speak about, or relate to the pain. I had simply turned it off like it never happened. But it started to seep out and overflow and the family? Lol, well my Dears, it fell apart.

~Maxwanette A Poetess

 

bornintoalifeofmisery

 Born Into A Life of Misery

Born into a life of misery,

Never to reach my full capacity.

 

Used and abused when necessary,

Did anyone ever care how it would affect me?

 

Thrust into a world all alone,

Deluded by the body of a child that’s grown.

 

Wasn’t taught what the world was made of,

Confused pain and hurt with love.

 

My body has been stretched, mauled, molested, screwed, beaten

I’ve always been treated as the earth’s most loathsome cretin.

 

Never belonged, always wanting to fit in, wanting to be wanted

Just mistreated, lied to, cheated on and taunted.

 

I try to climb out of the cesspool of my life, to wade in waters clear and free,

As I’m being pushed back down, I realize that clear waters aren’t for me.

 

See, I was born into a life of misery,

Never to reach my full capacity.

 

As that dark cloud looms over me, threatening to swallow me whole,

I know that if I don’t fight it, it won’t leave me alone.

 

But I’ve been fighting for so long, it’s never done,

This is a battle that will never be won.

 

My mind, my brain is under attack,

Shit! I can’t rewind this life, change and get something back!

 

What is it like to be a child?

What is it like to run wild?

To be overstood, loved & free? I am an adult, no time for me.

 

See the answers I’ll never know,

because a long time ago,

damaged seeds were reaping what they sewed.

 

I hate my life and all that’s in it!  Besides my sister and my kids,

I don’t see the purpose of it.

 

Why am I here!!? What is the use?  I tired of all this abuse!

I ‘m exhausted, and my stance is weak, like that of an old lady

Just as if I was a newborn baby…

 

I was born,

 into a life of misery.

Never to reach my full capacity.

©10/7/2000 Maxwanette A Poetess

 

 

“The Poetic Storm” Vol. 2