“And All Is Silent” by Maxwanette A Poetess

andallissilent

(Picture derived from Google)

 

And All Is Silent

It’s not always so easy,

To walk away or to handle the release.

Of the Dark-Fanged Beast…That dwells within.

 

Becoming Grooms of Doom,

Mistresses of the distress,

Of life’s experienced reactions.

 

When you get a taste,

Of such a dark space,

Marinating in the juices of your existence.

 

Developing into fine wine,

Or a bitter production,

That mirrors the grape-press of your Soul.

 

Feel the gentle breeze of the rain,

Falling upon your face.

A moonlit night, as the wolves howl in unison…

 

And all is silent.

 

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“Be Mad If You Want To” by Maxwanette A Poetess

bemadifyouwantto

(Picture derived from Google)

“Be Mad If You Want To”

You can be mad if you want to,

Stop acknowledging me if you like.

Not speak to me, because of the reality.

The truth is, what it is.

 

Forget, that you are the spark,

As you remain huddled in the dark.

Move out of my way,

As I handle my business.

 

So, you can be mad if you want to,

Because you choose to ride & then die.

And I?

I’m being free

&

I LIVE!

“I Loved You”…by Maxwanette A Poetess

ilovedyou

(Picture derived from Google)

“I LOVED YOU” …

I loved you even when you caused me pain

I loved you even though there was nothing to gain

I loved you even when others said I shouldn’t

I loved you even when I thought I couldn’t

I loved you and tried to make things fit

I loved you even when you called me “Bitch”

I loved you even when my heart was scorched

I loved you when with child, you were mackin’ on my porch

I loved you when I couldn’t eat

I loved you when I couldn’t sleep

I loved you when I went down the street to get your child scraped out of me

I loved you over valley and hills

I loved you even while you ran up my bills

I loved you when I sent you to jail

I loved you when they let you out without bail

I loved you the times I put you out in the cold

I loved you when you came back and you I could hold

I loved you when you mistreated me

I loved you when you screwed me until I screamed

I loved you even though you loved Cherie & ShellyAnn

I loved you more than any man

I loved you even though you gave me nothing for Valentine’s Day

I loved you even though I was your wife, but your girlfriend got paid

I loved you, even though I knew you were running game

I loved you even though you didn’t feel the same

I loved you and cried inside as you told me lies

I loved you even though I saw the deceit in your eyes

I loved you even though I knew, the only one you loved was you

I loved you so much it took a while for me to see…

That I wasn’t loving me.

   *Sometimes in life’s relationships, we’re so busy with “being” in love, that even toxicity is overlooked. This isn’t loving or what it’s meant to be. It is during this endurance we fail to see that by allowing these types of relationships to be, we aren’t being loved nor are we loving ourselves.

“I Don’t Dare Sleep”~Maxwanette A Poetess

idontdaresleep

(Mississippi Gulf Coast 2016)

I Don’t Dare Sleep
I don’t dare sleep.
Even as my body aches,
and I grow weary from exhaustion.

 

I don’t dare sleep.
As days turn into nights,
and back into days again.

 

I don’t dare sleep.
While my mind fathoms the place,
in which my body is in.

 

I don’t dare sleep.
When I refuse to see myself as suffering,
as alleged love ones…allegedly love.

 

I don’t dare sleep.
For the gnats and water-bugs may just decide,
to invade my menial bed, on the floor, made of cloth.

 

I don’t dare sleep.
Even though, after making a stronger bed, high off the floor,
it’s so hard and rigid, it has become a torture rack, rendering my flesh, black & blue.

 

I don’t dare sleep.
For it is time to remind myself,
of who I am and meant to be.

 

I don’t dare sleep.
Because many are far worse off than I am & will ever be.
It is to them that I humble myself and pay homage.

 

I don’t dare sleep.

 

*This poem was inspired, by a personal experience in Mississippi (2015). It was a moment of tearing down and dismantling my ego, as well as embracing the strength within. It was a moment of great clarity, reality, and knowledge. It indeed made me stronger and a better Soul.

 

by~Maxwanette A Poetess (aka M.A.M.)

“I Cursed Him”~Maxwanette A Poetess

icursedhim

I Cursed Him

The man that helped cause,

the very creation of my birth…

I cursed him, with the remnant breath of his existence.

See, he bragged & began to revel in the dirt,

regarding the beatings that he gave my Mother, that hurt.

I became the verbal reflection of his crude actions.

What I wanted to do, was to place my hands around his neck,

squeezing until he welcomed death, plastering his remorseless smirk,

upon the wall of damned eternity, for the pain, he caused my Mother.

“A-R-R-RAH-H-H!!!”

A child’s flashback, when everything went black,

flooding memories of Mommy’s busted lip,

the pain in her hip from his kicks,

the sighs, as make-up, could no longer cover the eyes,

that were constantly black & blue…

Instead, I gathered my strength,

grabbing hold of my tempers tailspin,

From the depths of my Mother’s womb,

searing from my Ancestors tombs…

I cursed him,

&

for me, he is no more.

I AM FREE.

~Maxwanette A Poetess

 

*Child Abuse & Domestic Violence (DV) are very damaging experiences. They can follow one through adulthood & their entire life. These are causes that are very personal to me & hold a special spot in my heart. As a society, we must do more. Abused children can very easily become abused & fractured adults, which flows over into a very hellish existence. One of the most important things to remember is that you’re not alone & there are resources available.

“Namastè & One Love” ❤️💛💚

 

National Child Abuse Hotline 1(800)4-A-Child or 1(800)422-4453

https://www.childhelp.org/hotline/

stock-photo-stop-child-abuse-sign-words-clouds-shape-isolated-in-white-background-121620967

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 

http://www.thehotline.org/

Domestic Violence

Child Abuse Can Affect You As An Adult

Don’t Be Ashamed…GET HELP!

Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse GET HELP 24/7: 800.656.HOPE (4673)

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https://www.rainn.org/articles/adult-survivors-child-sexual-abuse

https://aifs.gov.au/cfca/publications/effects-child-abuse-and-neglect-adult-survivors

 

https://www.havoca.org/effects-child-abuse-neglect-adult-survivors/

 

 

“True Colors” by~Maxwanette A Poetess

truecolors

“Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass… it’s learning to dance in the rain” ~Anonymous

{Picture derived from Pinterest)

True Colors

You talked, you smiled…

Knowing all the while,

The mission, in which you set for yourself.

 

You glided, you moved,

Fully aware of the grooves,

That only your presence could possibly make.

 

You laughed, vibed on a whole,

Showing calmness & lack of control,

As you exposed the realness, of your lost Soul.

 

Putting aside, all that gleamed,

Expressing what you really mean

Robbing your essence, your very presence, of who you’re created to be.

 

I looked out, through the rain,

As your Soul begged to dance again.

But you hardened your ears to the rhythm.

 

Selling yourself to the highest bidder,

Not even leaving, a miniscule sliver,

Of the magnificence that once, was you.

 

I stand in the rain…all alone,

Closing my eyes, feeling my way home…

“I Dance!”

© Maxwanette A Poetess {a.k.a. M.A.M.}, All Rights Reserved.