“No Changes”

nochanges(Picture derived from Bing)

NO CHANGES

You didn’t want to change.

Instead, you wanted to continue to lay the blame,

That I was reacting to my past & residual pains…

So, there was nothing more, that I could do.

 

It was driving me insane,

As I retreated within my own brain, to protect myself from you.

But I laugh & I grin, as my thoughts no longer spin…

It wasn’t me, “It Was Him!” – He clearly stated, he was simply too old to change.

 

You are right, this is your life, but I cannot be your wife,

For I have nothing for you to prove.

Saddening reality that it was, this powerful thing called love,

So, I left…And left the “No Changes”, with you.

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“No Jurispudence!”

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“No Jurisprudence”

Define me,

haven’t you done so already?

Judge me, as you are compelled to do.

Convict me, condemn the way I live.

Rejoice, at my expense.

Try, to destroy my sense of self.

Believe, the preconceived notions built upon lies of the deceivers.

Allow me, to defend myself.

Educate me, on the false doctrines that you perpetuate generation to generation.

Justify me…

Only I can do that.

*Inspired by the Injustice in the Matrix.

“True Colors”

truecolors

{Picture from Pinterest)

“Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass… it’s learning to dance in the rain” ~Anonymous

True Colors

You talked, you smiled..

Knowing all the while,

The mission, in which you set for yourself.

You glided, you moved,

Fully aware of the grooves,

That only your presence could possibly make.

You laughed, vibed on a whole,

Showing calmness & lack of control,

As you exposed the realness, of your lost Soul.

Putting aside, all that gleamed,

Expressing what you really mean

Robbing your essence, your very presence, of who you’re created to be.

I looked out, through the rain,

As your Soul begged to dance again.

But you hardened your ears to the rhythm.

Selling yourself to the highest bidder,

Not even leaving, a miniscule sliver,

Of the magnificence that once, was you.

I stand in the rain…all alone,

Closing my eyes, feeling my way home…

“I Dance!”

© M.A.M. {aka: MAX A POETESS} , All Rights Reserved.

 

“I’m Not Dying Here With You”…

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 “I’m Not Dying Here With You…” 

Through this life and many others…

I tried with you, I cried with you,

Walked through the storm & died with you…Not anymore.

Taking the brunt of the defunked beat,

In which, you choose to dance, never once caring, of the souls you cut.

As you were busy, bleeding from your self inflicted injuries,

I bled with you, but…Not anymore.

Leaving you in your self-designed, blood filled pit,

Suffocating from the pressure, from self and others.

As you have blindly & ignorantly cast aside the Love-Preserver,

Created to assist you in this existence…Not anymore.

I love you, yet the “time” has come,

New worlds & lives have already begun.

My job here? It’s already been done.

I’m not dying here with you…Not anymore.

*Inspired by new beginnings and views in this life. At times, one has to leave others behind as they elevate and change. It becomes a selfish act, as the need & want to survive and move on becomes so great it simply cannot be denied…Not anymore 😉

©M.A.M. {aka: MAX A POETESS} , All Rights Reserved.

“Now Where You At?”

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 “Now Where You At?” 

You never had my back,

Beat my Momma while she was pregnant, sucka-bitch attacks.

Trying to destroy us both, had no love I see…

Now Where You At?

Living, while you never wanted me to be,

The life you & my mother created…”ME”,

Always tearing me down, abused me verbally, mentally, emotionally, physically, incestuously…

You piece of shit, lol! Now Where You At?

Damaged my heart, mind, body & soul

Half of this story, has never been told.

These words you can’t even read,

Because you’re still ignorant, living in the land of illiteracy

Now Where You At?

No more secrets man,

No more lies

Now you’re old – can’t see anymore out of those evil eyes…

“Hey Daddy!

Now Where You At?”

(((MIC DROP))) 

 *The pain of child abuse doesn’t just go away. It leaves an imprint on ones soul. Manifesting and expressing itself in a variety of ways. It causes anger, confusion, lost and torn from the treatment. It teaches one to be a wonderful victim and become a master in self-sabotage. For some, they become abusers themselves. It is a cycle that is not easy and takes much work to break. Abusees, have to learn how to embrace themselves, no matter what they’ve been through and to not see themselves through the eyes & actions of the abuser. The first step is to let that negative garbage out. Release the pain, frustration, judgment, guilt, fear, you name it.  I say, “Feel, deal, heal and keep it moving forward.”  

©M.A.M. {aka: MAX A POETESS} , All Rights Reserved.

You are not alone and people care.

Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline 

https://www.childhelp.org/hotline 

1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. All calls are confidential. 

National Hotlines 

National Domestic Violence Hotline 
Staffed 24 hours a day by trained counselors who can provide crisis assistance and information about shelters, legal advocacy, health care centers, and counseling.  

1-800-799-SAFE (7233) 
1-800-787-3224 (TDD)  

Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network 
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) is the nation’s largest anti-sexual assault organization.  Among its programs, RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE and the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline at rainn.org . This nationwide partnership of more than 1,100 local rape crisis centers provides victims of sexual assault with free, confidential services, 24 hours per day, 7 days per week.  These hotlines have helped over 1.3 million people since RAINN’s founding in 1994.

 

“I Refuse To Give In!”

irefusetogivein

{Picture derived from Google}

“I Refuse To Give In!” 

The sadness of the day,

threatens to not go away,

The negativity doesn’t want me to win.

But, I refuse to give in.

The wind blows so cold,

hearts ache, like bones that are old,

Pain knocks at the door, looking for more victims,

But, I refuse to give in.

Do not be swayed or feed into the dismay,

negativity, also has to find a place within.

I will continue to rise, have love in my heart, soul & eyes…

Because I Refuse To Give In!

*We all know, that life can throw you curveballs, you simply didn’t see coming or wasn’t prepared for. The point is, “Shit Happens.” However, I find the best way to succeed, is to deal with it and don’t let the negative defeat you. Instead, acknowledge it, stand up to it, conquer it, re-channel the energy into something positive, learn from it, master it and keep it moving.  

©M.A.M. {aka: MAX A POETESS}, All Rights Reserved.

“Don’t Ask Me Dumb Shit!”

dontaskmedumbshit

 “Don’t Ask Me Dumb Shit!” 

Please save your time, rewrite your playa lines,

Asking questions, you know the answers to, like a dumb bitch…

“Don’t ask me dumb shit!”

What do you mean, how should it be?

Man, you lied, was dishonest & tried to play me.

Where were your concerns, when you found time to not be legit?

“Don’t ask me dumb shit!”

It was not I, that rocked the boat,

But deceptions & secrets that you kept afloat.

Pretending to be, what you claimed to be, now you’re asking about me?

“Don’t ask me dumb shit!”

Can we go on? The trust is now gone,

Yet you’re amazed and surprised that lack patience & I’m angry.

“Baby, do you still love me? What should we do?”

What tha fuck does love have to do with it? Your actions said plenty,

So, “Don’t ask me dumb shit!”

*At times, we simply ask the wrong questions at the wrong time. When damage is done, it’s best to simply leave things alone, if all you’re doing is making things worse. Sometimes, people make a mess of things and  either it can, or cannot be fixed. I can guarantee though, that playing dumb or asking dumb shit, especially when you’re in the wrong? Doesn’t help, lol! If you’re trying to mend the broken fences, pissing the person off, really isn’t a smart way to go. It’s like pouring salt in a wound, then asking if you felt it.  

©M.A.M. {aka: MAX A POETESS}, All Rights Reserved.