🥀🙏🏾Dealing With Loss & Grief🙏🏾🥀

“Be Careful – Many say the way I view things, is simply downright crazy. When my Mommy was dying in hospice (2008), everyday I’d call out to her, “Ms. Williams! Yuh dead yet?” She’d laugh & say, “No mon, mi still here!”

Now for some? This may have seemed rather sick and crazed. But for Mommy & I? It was fitting. She knew I was having a hard time dealing with her dying. This was our way of preparing me & helping me to get through it. She didn’t want me to fall apart after she transcended, because we both knew I couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it.When the day came & I called out to her and received no response? I couldn’t even finish the question. The pain hit me so deeply, hard, & quick as I felt her death and her life energy pulling from within me. I felt a barrenness within a certain section of my being and couldn’tquite catch my breath. I shivered, kissed her forehead and tears fell on her hardened chest. Mommy was gone…

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If there’s one thing everyone in Humanity has in common, is the transcending/loss/death of someone we love or care about, pets included. We all know what grief is.

There aren’t any beautiful words to take away that ache or the longing that one feels. However, I can tell you what works for me. Like many, I’ve lost quite a few people throughout my life. How they transcended isn’t quite relevant – for I accepted that as well, by normal causes or not. We all will die in this existence & normally we have no say so as to how, when or where. That’s the biggest fear for many to accept, but as they say “It is what it is.”

Me? I talk to those that have left their earthly bodies. Yep, that’s what I said. I sit and have healthy conversations outloud with my loved ones & Ancestors, especially my Mommy. I laugh & cry, as I remember and reminisce over the memories and the bonds shared. I reassure them & myself that they won’t be forgotten. I even jokingly tell them to behave until I get there (where they are – energies don’t die like that & they often hang around). Many of us feel their presence, see signs, get visited in our dreams or even smell their favorite perfume/cologne.

But I cherish the existence they left behind & embrace their existence around me. Some say leave the dead where they are. I say don’t run from it nor fear it. Now I’m not saying to start inviting them to dinner, digging up graveyards, or casting spells😉…No really, don’t do it😐

I’m saying it’s okay to miss our loved ones. Don’t be afraid to be sad by their absence as we’re used to seeing them in this existence. However, remember the joy they brought to our lives, the good times, the laughs, jokes, special moments shared, wisdom, lessons learned, their faults, their quirks, talk about & to them and simply say…Thank You. ~Maxwanette A Poetess

“Namastè & One Love”❤💛😉

🥀🙏🏾I felt a vibe that someone is silently dealing with grief. So this article applies to whomever is in need of it🙏🏾🥀

“We’re All In This Thing Called Life, TOGETHER…Remember?”

📚✍🏾”I LOVE YOU MOMMY” ~ By, Maxwanette A Poetess✍🏾📚

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“I LOVE YOU MOMMY

You carried me in your womb,
protected against all elements.
You brought me forth – Even though you were lost.
You taught me to walk, to talk, to read & to heed…
I learned how to depend on Self, for all of my needs.
Urging me to ALWAYS ask questions,
Oh Mommy, I still do! Over & over again.
You came from Jamaica – Land of Wood & Water,
Precious, oh Precious – Natures daughter.
When you fell, I fell too but I overstood your pain.
For I too trodded with our generational strain.
“Once a man, but twice a child”,
Even in hospice, lol, I made you smile.
I wrote this poem especially for you,
Do you remember when I was 5 & wrote my 1st Haiku?
I used to long for the years of miscommunications & lost.
But a bouquet of roses you got daily, no matter the cost.
Yes, I’m grown and some may laugh & think it’s funny,
But I will call you My BabyGirl, My Mommy…
I Love You Always, may your Soul remain Sunny.
~Maxwanette A Poetess

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I literally wrote this poem 5 minutes ago. I was simply missing my Mommy. She was 62 years young when she transcended due to Cancer.

My Mom was the 1st Poet in my life and my hero. She suffered from mental illness & put me out of her home by the time I was 11 years old (Brooklyn, NY was something back then). We had a turbulent relationship until one day I realized that my Mom was suffering from mental illness. I couldn’t remain angry at her, no matter the damage that was done. How can one remain bitter & angry when a person’s going through mental hell…For the majority of their lives? I couldn’t. So I took care of her until she closed her eyes. She was my best friend & my Baby.

Mental Illness is real and it can & does destroy lives. *More people suffer from it than we know, realize or care to acknowledge. Heck, who hasn’t lost it here & there, especially when life can batter you from pillar to post? It’s important to remember our HUMANITY, LOVE, OVERSTANDING & COMPASSION. Because those that are suffering? Are our Mothers, Fathers, Siblings, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Grandparents, Children, Friends, Wives, Husbands, Pets and yes, even ourselves.
#Food4Thought

*https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/2019/02/5-surprising-mental-health-statistics/

“We’re All In This Thing Called Life, TOGETHER…Remember?”

“Namastè & One Love”❤💛💚

P.S. Yeah writing this had me crying. Then I quickly stopped. Why? Because I could see my Mommy giving me that look & hear her telling me to stop it, stand-up, be strong, you got this Max, keep it pushing and I? “I AM MY MOTHER’S CHILD.”

✨✍🏾 “Should We Write About Grief?”✍🏾✨

Should we write about grief?…You’re darn right we should!

Grief is a serious & in-depth emotion. Situations & experiences that produce this, need to be confronted and dealt with.

We all have our own ways in which to grieve and how we deal with it. But the fact still remains, it needs & should be addressed.

I recall when my Mother transcended in 2008 from Cancer. I went through the motions, held everyone up, took care of the funeral services, etc. I laughed, cheered everyone up & was doing awesomely well. A year later, while holding her urn I broke down. I cried. No, I bawled & howled like the wounded person I was. I held that grief for an entire year. It wasn’t good nor was it healthy. I had refused to grieve out of plain old fear. Fear that I had to accept realistically, she was gone physically & that I’d die from the pain of that reality.

It’s not a good idea nor healthy to not deal with grief. Being a Poet, it’s a great outlet to express it. But I couldn’t at the time. My heart literally froze & made my chest hurt. After my meltdown, I had to find other ways to deal with my grief. I’m a firm believer that grief should be dealt with & discussed. People die, people feel pain from loss, tragedy and or life experiences. I honestly feel it’s inhumane not to deal with grief.

Here’s an article in my favorite magazine “Poets & Writers” – you should subscribe, the resources they have are AWESOME 😎

~Maxwanette A Poetess

Pg. 16

✨🌹DEEPEST CONDOLENCES🌹✨

“We’re All In This Thing Called Life Together…Remember?”❤️💛💚

We are to love one another, for we are our Brothers & Sisters Keepers. It isn’t a political thing, a racial thing, or anything except one thing…”LOVE.” Love of Self, Others, & Life. We’ve got to do better than this…

✍🏾Essay by, SANDRA PARKS✍🏾

https://youtu.be/Ij9HdZbsSiw

✨🌹NATIONAL DAY OF MOURNING🌹✨

I do not celebrate it & holidays on a whole except for Kwanzaa.

I simply feel it’s wrong & inhumane of me, to celebrate the slaughtering of innocent lives & be “thankful” for it. To each his own for I judge none, but I pass.

“Namastè & One Love”❤️💛💚

https://amp.businessinsider.com/history-of-thanksgiving-2017-11

https://youtu.be/vHmto7tSTDY